4am Phone Call

4 AM. Phone rings, it's my mom. I immediately knew, but I hesitated to answer the phone, maybe because I didn't want it to be IT yet! But it was. My grandpa passed away. About a month ago my grandpa got really sick and he knew and we all knew his time was coming. Thinking about it, still shocks me. I know eventually every ones time runs up here and they move on, but I never thought of it being this soon. He was a 2nd dad to me (I guess 3rd if we want to count my actual dead beat dad) I am thankful for the memories I have with him. He took me to school every morning, and one day he had a toilet in the back of his truck (he was going to take it to the dump after), but I did NOT want to get in that truck at all. I was so embarrassed. Thinking about it now, is just funny. My sister and I even got him hooked on the 'Wild Thornberry's'. I know he is happy being with all of our family up there, but I'm being selfish and I just want him here. I guess that's how everyone acts when someone close to them passes away.

After hanging up with my mom, I couldn't go back to sleep so I moved down stairs on the couch ate cookies (I'm bad I know) and watched Fringe. I felt like a wreck, probably looked like one too, (I was not about to look at myself in the mirror). Some people may think being away is easier to deal with it, but it isn't because it gives you a feeling of regret and just more sadness. I should be there with my family, I WANT to be there with my family, but I can't....
Living far away just sucks sometimes. I am very blessed to have such a tight knit family.

Also I just want to say I am thankful that my boys met my amazing grandpa!

 

He put this basket on to make my boys laugh. :)

 

 

 

 

I needed a little pick me up (I guess some thinking time too) so I read a quote,

 

'Before you talk, listen

Before you react, think

Before you criticize, wait,

Before you pray, forgive

Before you quit, try'

 

This is sort of calming to me to just read it and re-read it. To free my mind.

 

One more thing before I go; the best part about today was when my oldest son kept thanking me for giving him underwear. Haha I just can't quit laughing, he would keep saying "you buy me undies? Oh thank you mommy"